Jaw Cracker Cake

(Special to EOV from reknowned Dental Surgeon and Baker Dr. Phil McCavity)

Ingredients:

3 cups Retro Grade Cement
1 cup Sour Milk
2 tbsp Fruit Flies
2 Egg Shells
12 Juicy Slugs
Lady Bugs to taste

You start off by collecting your ingredients. You can find cement in any hardware store.  If you can't find any, borrow it from any construction site. Leave the milk sitting a few days to get it nice and chunky. You can find fruit flies anywhere - behind rotten fruit, in your window behind the screen, hovering over the compost bin. You can find egg shells in any trash can, and you can usually find slugs in grass, in trash, or under rocks.  Note:  if fresh slugs are not readilly available, frozen slugs will do just fine.

Pour the cement into a bowl, then add the sour milk, which should be nice and chunky.  Add the fruit flies for a little extra crunch. Add egg shells, and mix until everything is well blended together. Throw the slugs into a smaller bowl, and grind them into a paste, and sprinkle in some lady bugs to add a reddish color to the paste. Put the cake into the oven, and bake it at 350 degrees for half an hour or several days, until it is grey and hardened. Take out of oven and let cool. Use your slug icing to decorate your cake, then serve and enjoy.

Serves 8.